All the small things

I wonder if other bloggers sometimes stand around doing nothing and suddenly gets inspired to blog about a certain topic but only to be too lazy to actually blog about it. I know I do and it really says nothing good about my character. So as I sit in front of my computer now sipping a cup of hot chocolate and thinking to myself, ‘hmm, a cold winter night with some hot chocolate, simple joys of life’, I thought might as well blog about it.

But of course none of my entries are actually just random accounts of my daily activities, I have twitter for that. My blog entries are for my ‘deeper’ thoughts, aka my longer complains/opinions. The simple joy that I get drinking hot chocolate  just gave me the thought that most of the happiest and most memorable moments in my life are just due to simple things.

When I was 14, I bought Usher’s Confessions album and there was a song called Simple Things. That song was special to me because it was the first time I ever paid attention to the simple things. Granted the simple things Usher meant in the song was about relationships but I still like how it can be applied to everyday life. ‘Why do we make something so easy so complicated, searching for what’s in front of our face’. At that time, I just told myself to be more appreciative to the people around me. But listening to the song now gives me a different feeling.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit, how do I say this, umm…inadequate? Through my time in primary and secondary school, I was always active in something. Being good in something or winning competitions kinda defined me. Now that I’m in university, I’m not doing much of anything really. I spent my time studying or trying to find some interesting event to attend and that’s it. No competition, no club activities no nothing. I honestly feel kinda empty. Okay, I think I’m a bit off topic here but the thing is, I have a fear that when I grow old and look back at my life, all I can see is a whole lot of boring. I always feel like I need to do something big to make interesting and important memories in my life. But then I’ve realized that it’s not the big events or anything of the like that gives me the fondest memory, it’s actually the simple things. Silly, insignificant things like eating behind the teacher’s back in class, skipping after school activities with my best buddies, rapping to Eminem’s the real Slim Shady with my sister and making cake with my brother. They all form such vivid memories in my mind and they make me happy. And that’s what memories that are worth keeping should do, they should make you happy.

So who cares if I’ve never attended a junior UN forum or represented my country in karate or what not, the simple things that happened in my life that put a smile to my face probably mean more than any of those things anyway. I don’t need to make things complicated, the memories that I want to make are just in front of my face and they’re special not because they made me an important person or anything, but because I shared them with the people that I love.  So, yeah, Usher, good song.

Wow, this is a sappy post but I guess I can be sappy, at times.

Big 2-0

Can’t believe that it’s been more than half a year since I last blogged. I wonder if anyone is still reading my blog? Anyway, i just celebrated my 20th birthday last week and I can already feel the aging process taking place 😦 Growing up, I was always told I don’t look my age, I felt like my body stopped aging once I turned 13. I hated it at first since I wanted to look mature and grown up and all that jazz but then I realized, hey, if this keeps up I’ll look 16 when I’m 30.  Haha, wishful thinking cause for the first time I think I actually look my age. My face looks like a 20 year old’s, well not entirely but kindda. Okay, actually I still look like a kid but the thing is that I lost some of my baby fat and  so I look a wee bit older okay? Argh, uselesss rambling aside, I actually intent to blog about something serious.

Ever since I arrived at Melbourne 2 months ago, I’ve had lots of time to think by myself since I don’t live with  my friends. A lot of alone time to reflect on my life and reevaluate my values and principles. Yeah, this is the beginning of a long and boring post about my thoughts on life so click the close tab now, I won’t be offended, seriously. Anyway, you know how some people say high school never ends, well it is kind of true. Coming to university I was expecting to be surrounded by intellectual minds but turns out everyone pretty much behaves like high school students. Bitching, back stabbing, acting like sluts/man whores to gain popularity points are still hip. I expected the partying and drunk fests but seriously, gossiping about each other, I am ashamed of myself, I should be better than that. Hello! I am an adult now. But then again, does turning 20 really make me an adult? I feel this constant pressure to act a certain way, to be all wise and stuff knowing that I’m officially out of my teens. But no matter how much I’ve changed physically, somehow mentally I still feel like a kid. I get excited when I see Spongebob on TV, I love visiting Toys R Us, I read Darren Shan, I like zoos and teddy biscuits and I like to ride my bicycle around the park. I know people will tell me that’s okay, it doesn’t make me less of an adult and I believe them, I’m not trying to hide the fact that I love doing those things. But it’s the things that I don’t do that make me feel like I am still a kid. Like how I don’t party like an animal, don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t stay out too late, don’t hook up and don’t get wasted. I know I am better off without doing those activities anyway but in a  way I feel like I’m missing out on a big part of my university life and the passage to my adulthood is incomplete. Sounds weird but I always had this notion that if I get wasted then I’ll be considered a grown-up. Haha, now it sounds really stupid once I typed it out.

But I guest I got this idea from all those stupid low cost movies that I watch about coming of age (American Pie). The thing I learned is how you define an adult is purely up to you. To me, so far being an adult means being able to do the right thing, standing up for what you believe in, not letting anyone shake your principles, learning to truly care about the people close to you, learning who’s your true friends and who’s just using you and having a strong spiritual connection to yourself. A lot of things have happened prior to my birthday that have made me question my values and what I believed in. It made me see things in a different light and in many ways have helped me grow as a person. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past and I will continue to make new ones but that doesn’t make me less of an adult as long as I learn from them. So that’s what growing up is all about, being able to move on and be better person everyday. Gosh, I’m babbling now but I’m a bit enthusiastic today. Oh! Knowing what’s important to you and what makes you happy is really important too. Trying to live up to other people’s standard of coolness and gaining their acceptance is so high school, everyone knows they’re only as cool as they think they are. There is always gonna be people who think so highly of themselves that they think everyone else should live their life like them, act like them, talk like them and probably shit like them too. Well, tell these people to look into the mirror and ask themselves why are they such losers?

So the main thing is to stay true to yourself, if you ever start to doubt your decisions, take a step back and reflect upon what’s important to you. That’s what I’m learning to do. Becoming an adult means lots of decisions too so better start practicing before I really eff up something big. But, I want to hold on to the part of me that likes kiddie stuff, like retaining my childish charm. Haha, charm. You can never take life too seriously, where’s the fun in that? Sometimes, actually a lot of times, it’s better just to laugh things off like a kid and have fun with your life, we only live once or so they say. 🙂

To add on something by Dr. Seuss,  ‘Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them’.

Until my next post (hopefully not too long from now), cheers!

Economics is really starting to get to me

Since I began studying economic a year ago, I found the subject to be surprisingly interesting and eye-opening. One topic that really got me thinking is the types of economies. I know more than 90% of the world practices market economy and all, but I can’t help but think that a planned economy ain’t that bad. Think of planned economy and you’ll think of communism or Karl Marx and it’s usually not a thought that generates positive responses. Communism is more than often linked with dictatorship, military ruling, lost of freedom, poor countries, low economic development etc etc. All these negative traits cover up the fact that hardy anyone was unemployed or living in extreme poverty under communist rule, everyone had access to basic necessities and equality of wealth was strongly emphasised. To those who have the capability to earn more than others, it is an unfair and annoying ruling however to those who are lowly educated and less fortunate, the communist rule must have been a blessing from God.

When I look at the world today, I can’t deny that market economies have done wonders for countries. Just look at Russia and how developed it is now. The rich are getting richer and MNCs are rapidly taking over the world but the poor are getting poorer too and their numbers are increasing non-stop. There are people who live in so-called ‘rich and developed’ countries that sleep on the streets and beg for money from passerby to buy a meal to keep them alive, people who sell their organs to support their family or people who leave their daughters to die on the street because they cannot afford to support them *think India*. Where is justice in that? What are governments doing about that? What happened to equality? When I see these people, I’m reminded of how unfair market economies are and under communist rule, these people would probably be a lot better off.

So the main question is, should countries practice market economy that allows a minority of people to be rich or communism that ensures that everyone is fed and have a roof over their heads in the expense that no one would ever get rich no matter how hard they work?

Personally, I think that decisions should be made that benefits the majority of society and that is usually the poor (not including countries like Switzerland and Sweden). However, I’m sure the richer part of society will be stomping their feet yelling “TYRANNY!!!” I too have a strong conviction that the people should have absolute say when it comes to the ruling of a country, it is the people after all that make the country but when the voice of country is controlled by upper-class citizens, a market economy wouldn’t do much good for anyone else other than them. I know it’s inevitable but I can’t stand the injustice and the ridiculous wealth gaps, it doesn’t make sense. I think  the main culprit is the ignorance of mankind to care for our fellow brothers and sisters.

I know I’m ranting. It’s my first post in half a year and I’m ranting about economic systems, you probably want the last 5 minutes of your life back…lol anyway I’m just happy to finally get this off my chest.