Iris Inc.

Me No Monkey

It’s frustrating how people from Peninsula Malaysia perceive people of east Malaysia to be like. I’ve heard that west Malaysians thought that east Malaysians live on trees and are really really undeveloped but I never took it seriously since I didn’t know that people can be that dumb but alas, I was proven wrong after I started college in the west. I was really shocked at how ‘technologically inadvance’ these west Malaysians think we east Malaysians are and between you in I, I feel kind of insulted too but let’s not dwell on that. If we were really that ‘way behind’ compared to you snobby, ignorant, arrogant west Malaysians, then how do you think we can post blogs (like this for example), watch the same TV programmes as you and how on earth do you think we arrived at your side of the country??? By hanging on the claws of a giant eagle? I’m sorry if I’m exaggerating (blame my patriotism to my state) but it really irks me to know that west Malaysians think so lowly of us. Sure, I know our public transport aren’t as advanced as your beloved LRT and Monorails and yes, we don’t have any famous twin towers here either but we’re not Tarzan okay?

So, once again I have compiled a list of things you should know about east Malaysia especially Sabah since so many west Malaysians seem to have developed a misconception towards us.

  1. We don’t live on trees or share our houses with Orang Utans just because Sabah is famous for their Orang Utan Wildlife Preserve. We have normal houses just like west Malaysians do, you know apartment complexes, bungalows and etc. Wow, you’re shocked, aren’t you? Don’t worry, take your time to digest this new piece of information, I know its hard to believe. *hurls* Anyhow, we do have long houses in the interior parts of the state that are occupied by our natives but before you can look down on them, they have Astro and their tradition and culture is way cooler than most I know. So, ’nuff said!
  2. We have malls and highways and everything in between. You know malls, where people go to buy stuff, yeah we have that too. Here’s a picture if you want proof.
  3. 3. Our method of speaking Malay is not weird, your way is just wrong. I believe we’ve been thought how to pronounce our ‘a, e, i, o, u’ since kindergarden and ‘a’ is suppose to sound like ‘a’ not ‘e’.

    4. We have Astro. We know what are sattelites. We have TVs in our home and we don’t just watch RTM and TV3, we have a life too, you know.

    5. We lead our lifes in similar ways to west Malaysians. We hang out with friends, we like to drive around in our cars and we study the same syllabus in school. By the way, not all Sabahans are dark skinned, I’m no Snow White but I don’t think I’m dark either, more like a light shade of yellow or brown or erm some human skin color that isn’t dark.

    6. We don’t feel isolated from the rest of the country. Even though Sabah and Sarawak are separated from the other states, we are perfectly happy where we are and I personally like it that way.

    To all my west Malaysian friends who’s reading this post, no offence, okay guys? I’m sure not all west Malaysians are like these, just the annoying ones. Most of the west Malaysians I’ve met are really cool and I still love you guys and I don’t mind answering questions on my state, just make sure you don’t ask anything stupid.

October 16, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Songs you should never play with your parents in the car

So let’s imagine your sitting in the back seat of your parents’ car, enjoying the view of the country-side/construction area/polluted sky/naked people running around (whatever your choice) and humming along to the song on the radio when suddenly theĀ  singers sings something like this “yeah baby, I can give it to you all night, make you scream my name til the morning light”. Okay, I just made the lyrics up myself but doesn’t it sound awfully familiar to most of the songs that are being aired nowadays. It’s all about sex, screw all those singers who repeatedly say “it’s all bout the music, man” cause we know it ain’t true. I don’t really have much against these songs no matter what it’s trying to promote but the only thing is it creates a lot of awkward moments in the car when my parents happen to be listening to it too.

I don’t know if anybody else feels the same way since some people turn on their radio at such a small volume all you can hear is a low buzzing sound. Anyway, here’s a list (I’m rather fond of making lists, don’t you think?) of a few songs that I could come up with in the spur of the moment that might cause some uneasiness when heard with your parents in the car.

1. Katy Perry – I Kissed A Girl

I bet you were expecting this weren’t you? I mean how could I not include this into my list after the amount controversy and publicity it generated. It’s almost like every teenager’s anthem of the year with it’s catchy tune and suggestive lyrics. But no matter how good it is, it’s definitely not the best song to listen to with your folks around. I’m sure my mom would glare at me suspiciously if she hears me singing this song cause let’s face it, the ‘rents don’t really get the whole ‘gay’ thing and to them it’s a major no no to kiss a girl (if you’re a girl) and then like it.

2. Nine Inch Nails – Closer

I won’t have to explain why you shoud never NEVER listen to this song with your parents after you hear it. I find this song amazingly addictive and I bet certain couples do to but I don’t think any parent would want to know their child is listening to it. With it’s more than blunt chorus singing the words “I want to f*** you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside”, just knowing the existence of this song would make parents faint, well at least I think it’ll make my mom faint.

3. 50 Cents – Candy Shop

“I’ll take you to the candy shop, I’ll let you lick the lollipop, go ‘head girl don’t you stop, keep goin ’til you hit the spot” Uhh…Okay, the word ‘lollipop’ is open for interpretation but I’m sure you know what it means and I’m pretty sure your parents know what it means to, no matter what a prude they can be sometimes so this song is best avoided in the presence of the ‘rents.

4. The Veronicas – Take Me On the Floor

I’m so addicted to this song right now but I sure won’t want to hear it with my parents, especially my mom, again. It’s not just the title ‘take me on the floor’ woohoo but more over there’s a part where they sing ‘I wanna kiss a girl’ again and again before being followed swiftly by ‘I wanna kiss a boy”. As I mentioned before, gay and parents don’t mix, or in the case of this song, bisexuality and parents don’t mix well. I can imagine my mom pulling a face and saying “this is disgusting!“. So, yeah unless your parents are like super cool, this song is a no no.

5. Martin Gaye – Sexual Healing

I chose this song not for the sake of my parents but for the sake of myself. I’m not sure if other parents like it but my parents sure don’t have a problem listening to it in the car though I can say the opposite for myself. I don’t understand why I can listen to Kelis singing bout her ‘milkshakes’ without feeling the least bit disgusted (I rather like it by the way) but everytime I hear this song I’ll cringe. Maybe it’s the thought of someone from my parents’ generation singing sexual songs that really creep me out when people of that time should be singing bout hills and valleys (remember The Sound of Music?). Or maybe it’s the way Martin Gaye sings it according to my sister’s opinion. No matter the reasons and how ridicolous they might sound, I won’t suggest anyone to listen to it with or without their parents.

Well I could go on typing a whole list full of songs that you should never play with your parents in the car but I won’t since I’m wayyyyy too lazy to continue and my eyelids are betraying me, plus I’m sure you can come up with an unending list youselves. But as a closing to this rather insignificant post, if you happen to be in a car with your parents and the radio happens to play one of these songs, I suggest you just look out the window pretending like you’re not listening to it and pull an emo face to make it more convincing.

October 12, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments